October 30, 2010

Paddle hard!

  These shorts made me think of some of the babies I talk to. A lot of them just fuss and whine and need to be spanked or paddled. Usually when I take them over my knee or make them bend over a chair and lay down the law so to speak they straighten up and it’s all yes Daddy and sorry Daddy. Maybe if they had to waltz around in these shorts for awhile they’d know I had a clear visual of how to handle their sassy butts. Besides that, they’re cute.   Daddy Paul
October 24, 2010

Being Rude On The Phone

Yesterday I received a call from a person from a collection agency looking for someone who doesn’t even live here.  I politely told the person that the person they were looking for not only does not live here, but I have never even heard of them before.  The person basically called me a liar and demanded that I give them a cell phone number for the person.  I paused for a moment then decided that what they wanted was a confrontation so they could become nasty, so instead of being just as rude to them, I said, “Awww, someone is cranky and needs a nap.” To which they replied, “What?!” I went on to baby talk to them until they sounded a bit freaked out by it all and their voice broke a little bit.  I then politely told them that if they ever call back here again, be prepared to be spoken to the same way, then put in a diaper and sent to bed without dinner.  They immediately hung up and I laughed.  It was just too perfect.  Who knew being a Fetish Nanny could get rid of rude bill collectors. Ella 1-888-430-2010
October 11, 2010

Cloony The Clown

I’ll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown Who worked in a circus that came through town. His shoes were too big and his hat was too small, But he just wasn’t, just wasn’t funny at all. He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes, He had a green dog and a thousand balloons. He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall, But he just wasn’t, just wasn’t funny at all. And every time he did a trick, Everyone felt a little sick. And every time he told a joke, Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke. And every time he lost a shoe, Everyone looked awfully blue. And every time he stood on his head, Everyone screamed, “Go back to bed!” And every time he made a leap, Everybody fell asleep. And every time he ate his tie, Everyone began to cry. And Cloony could not make any money Simply because he was not funny. One day he said, “I’ll tell this town How it feels to be an unfunny clown.” And he told them all why he looked so sad, And he told them all why he felt so bad. He told of Pain and Rain and Cold, He told of Darkness in his soul, And after he finished his tale of woe, Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no, They laughed until they shook the trees With “Hah-Hah-Hahs” and “Hee-Hee-Hees.” They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks, They laughed all day, they laughed all week, They laughed until they had a fit, They laughed until their jackets split. The laughter spread for miles around To every city, every town, Over mountains, ‘cross the sea, From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee. And soon the whole world rang with laughter, Lasting till forever after, While Cloony stood in the circus tent, With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent. And he said,”THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT – I’M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT.” And while the world laughed outside. Cloony the Clown sat down and cried. by Shel Silverstein Lorraine
October 4, 2010

Don’t Bring Camels in the Classroom

Don’t bring camels in the classroom. Don’t bring scorpions to school. Don’t bring rhinos, rats, or reindeer. Don’t bring mice or moose or mule.  Pull your penguin off the playground. Put your python in a tree. Place your platypus wherever you think platypi should be. Lose your leopard and your lemur. Leave your llama and your leech. Take your tiger, toad, and toucan anywhere but where they teach. Send your wombat and your weasel with your wasp and wolverine. Hide your hedgehog and hyena where you’re sure they won’t be seen. Please get rid of your gorilla. Please kick out your kangaroo. No, the teacher didn’t mean it when she called the class a “zoo.” by Kenn Nesbitt Minnie  
September 13, 2010

Messy Room

Whosever room this is should be ashamed! His underwear is hanging on the lamp. His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair, And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp. His workbook is wedged in the window, His sweater’s been thrown on the floor. His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV, And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door. His books are all jammed in the closet, His vest has been left in the hall. A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed, And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall. Whosever room this is should be ashamed! Donald or Robert or Willie or– by Shel Silverstein Lorraine
September 1, 2010

ABDL Mommy Makes It Better

Poor adult baby Tommy has been sick all week and finally called his abdl Mommy Candy to take care of him. Abie  felt a little warm so first thing Mommy did is take his temperature the old fashion way of course. Next Mommy pressed against his tummy and baby started to cry, oh boy Mommy realized abie had not made potty in 2 days! Abie  Tommy has never had an enema before and now I have to break the news to him…. Mommy Candy 1 888 430-2010
Call Now ButtonClick to Call